What Was That?
by Jeanie-luvs
Summary: They are a giant robotic alien race with their own advanced language that confuses the poor, pitiful humans and ,um, could we get an explanation for that word, please?...AU
1. Slag

**A/N:****Hey ****all!** This is my first Transformers fic (and if you received a PM from me, this is _not_ that fic) and I hope you enjoy it! It'll be about five or six short chapters. The only 'curse' words _are_ Slag, Scrap, Aft, Frag, and Glitch, right? I'll put out two chapters tonight. Enjoy!

**Wait.** How much slang does Jazz actually use? I just started watching G1 and haven't seen him yet. /(XoX)/

**Disclaimer:** All Transformers and related things belong to Hasbro and Bay (I think). I don't claim to own it!

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Language

*What was that?*

**SLAG**

The first time Nathan heard the word coming from a gigantic metal mouth, he dropped the box he was carrying on a young girl's foot. The giant robot ahead of them turned and watched as she jumped around, cursing.

Did he really just hear that?

"Ouch! What the slag, man?" He turned, horrified, to stare at the girl, who eyed him angrily and warily. "Give a girl a lil' warning sometimes!" She hopped on her opposite foot awhile longer before addressing the soldier. "Hey, uh" she squinted at his nametag, "Lieutenant Brown, what gives?"

"Y-you- why would you use that word?" The disapproval was heavy in his voice. "Aren't you a bit too young to be using that kind of language?"

She blinked at him. "Are you British?"

Lieutenant Nathan Brown flushed and nodded, before asking determinedly, "Who taught you that word?"

"Which one?"

Before he could stammer the word out, the dark grey and silver robot (Autobot, he mentally corrected) was walking towards them. "Is everythin' ah right, Rhythm? Lieutenant Brown?"

The girl nodded absentmindedly, still focused on the Lieutenant. Nathan gulped and replied, "Ah, yes. I was just startled."

"By what?"

He winced as the question came at him from both beings. "I just heard a word I wasn't expecting." He'd been expecting American curses, not ones native to his home.

"Yes, but what was the word?" Rhythm (Americans sure had weird names) asked in near irritation. "My toe was nearly decapitated; I think I have a right to know."

Blue light from above flickered and he heard amusement in the mechanical voice as he spoke. "Don't let Ratchet hear that; he'll have you in med bay quicka 'an you can blink." After a pause, he added, "And stop exaggeratin'. I'm not sure you can decapitate a toe."

"'S not exaggeration, Jazz, it's detailing. And you can decapitate a toe. The head toe. So, Lieutenant Brown, the word?"

"Slag," Nathan muttered, running a hand over suddenly weary features. Where on earth (or space) had an advanced alien species of giant robots picked up that word?

"Is it so bad you can't repeat it?" Brown saw the girl frown from the corner of his eye. "I didn't hear anything that bad." She surveyed the men and 'bots ambling around them with suspicion.

"No, it's slag."

The frown twisted in confusion. "The word is so bad that it's slag?"

A huff from above and suddenly the Autobot (Jazz, the girl said?) was on their level. Nathan examined the glistening yet dry color of Jazz's…exoskeleton? Was there a word for what lay out, free for the world to see? "No Rhythm, m'dear, he's sayin' the word is slag."

She sighed. "I get that it's a bad word but why won't you guys tell me what it is?" Short hair flew as she shook her head.

Nathan rubbed at his temples. "No. Slag _is_ the word."

"…Slag?" she questioned.

"Equals the bad word." Nathan waited for the moment of realization to appear, and when it did, he told her, "Where I'm from, its meaning is unkind to women."

"So it means 'bitch' in English?" Another frown. "Er, I mean, British?"

His fading flush returned in full force. "No. The other term."

"Trick?"

A shake of blond hair and Rhythm tried again. "Skank, slut, whore?"

Nathan waved a hand and nodded. "Those, all of those."

"Oh." The wide grin that stretched across her dark face worried him. "Haha, that's slaggin'!"

The blond man groaned. There was the brief sound of shifting gears that resembled music, strangely, and Jazz stood up, arms crossed. "Rhythm," he said warningly. "If the word bothers the man, don't use it around him."

Rhythm threw up her hands and muttered to herself, reaching to pick up the box long abandoned in favor of their conversation. "It's not like every other 'bot in this place isn't using it."

As if to prove her right, there came a loud commotion to their left. All beings turned to see Wheeljack frantically try to avoid a group of soldiers while carrying several large boxes, stacked high enough to block his view of the ground. The trio winced as he went down with an earth-shaking _thud_, quickly followed by laughter from his fellow 'bots and a shouted, "Slag!" as equipment fell out of the boxes. Several soldiers hurried over to help, only to be driven back again when Wheeljack slipped on one of his devices.

Rhythm turned a smug grin on the other two, making Brown sigh and slump. Jazz snickered but said, "You still can't use it."

"SLAGGER!" She cried, running away from the disbelieving man and the swiftly following Jazz.

"RHYTHM!"

Lieutenant Nathan Brown tried his best to ignore the way each of Jazz's steps caused him to jump two inches in to the air. The young man simply made a mental note to share his findings with the rest of the foreign soldiers stationed on base.

Glancing around, Nathan made sure no one could hear him mutter, "Someone's got to share this slag, after all."

*What was that?*

A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it, even if it was just a little! A little feedback is nice, if you feel like leaving a review! Next chapter will be out within two hours! XD

Oh, and I'm not dissing British peoples at all. It was just easier to use someone who spoke english but wasn't from America.


	2. Frag

**A/N:**Hello again! Welcome to the second chapter! Thanks for reading this far, and if you've reviewed, just know that you made my _week_! Thanks!

**Disclaimer:**I don't own any part of Transformers; Hasbro and Bay claim those. I Only Own Rhythm and Nathan.

**Warnings:**Language, Ironhide in a snit, Wheeljack's equipment being potentially world ending...

**Rating:**Teen

**Rant:**Can someone explain this to me: If Seaspray found a place where a 'bot can become human, and Hound wants to be a human (according to Transformers wiki), why haven't the two ever met? What the frag? Do those two not run in the same circle? They. are. both. AUTOBOTS! No excuse!

(Auto-Bop)- What the…Autobots use terms like 'Youngblood'? Since when? My entire world, right now? _Blown._ Oh, Blaster is hip and electronic beings no effect-y by water.

*What was that?*

**FRAG**

When Lieutenant Nathan Brown found himself in the company of a pretty, twitching teenage girl, an amused Captain Lennox, and a guiltily shifting GMC TopKick three days after the 'The Third Great Wheeljack Fiasco (on earth) of 2008', he wondered what on earth had possessed him to join NEST.

They were currently on the weapons training ground, which made sense with Ironhide in the mix. There were targets everywhere, eclipsed only by the amount of boulder-sized holes. Somehow the humongous truck was managing to sustain an 'I-will-fire-my-plasma-cannons-at-you-at-a-very-close-range-fleshling' aura as a black truck. Nathan wondered if anyone had ever mistaken Ironhide as _just_ a truck.

For their safety (and their lives), he hoped not.

"What happened here, Mikaela?" Captain Lennox may have seemed completely serious, but the laughter in his question pulverized that image. A quick glance around the room and an eyebrow was raised. "And why are none of my soldiers in here?"

Captain Lennox and Lieutenant Brown had been exchanging 'How-I was-Inducted-into-NEST' stories when a frantic soldier had come racing from the weapons area. Without thinking, both men had immediately switched to 'Command' mode and ran to the training field. Upon finding a pissed teen girl and reluctantly guilty truck, Captain Lennox had relaxed.

Nathan…not so much.

The girl whipped around, her long dark hair flying and eyes dark with annoyance. "Ironhide happened. They all left when it looked like things were about to go south." A horn honked in denial and the TopKick transformed into a massive, dark, _dangerous_ Autobot intent on glaring the humans into submission. "One of the trainees thought Ironhide called him gay."

Nathan's face blanked. "He called them happy and they got upset?" He thought about it, but no, he failed to see how being called happy was an insult.

Captain Lennox shot him a small smile. "No, she means that Ironhide called the trainee a man who loves other men."

"I did no such thing!" Ironhide glowered threateningly, anger clearly evident in his voice. Wisely, Brown stepped back. "I simply said 'frag'. The human wanted to see my canons and they weren't working." The weapons specialist added grudgingly, "Though they are fine now, the sporadic glowing may have, frightened, them."

Mikaela shot Ironhide a slightly disbelieving glance, before she scowled at Lennox. "I wouldn't have cared either way, except the man decided that the best way to prove he wasn't a 'frag' was to wolf-whistle at me." She smirked, her eyes momentarily softening around the edges. "Sam wasn't happy about it." Nathan had heard quite a bit about the Witwicky kid. Things that wouldn't make him want to be trapped with the kid, _ever_, but still things.

Lennox looked around for the brown-haired boy. "Where is he?" He half expected-half dreaded to see the boy pop up from nowhere, screaming, and running away from a Decepticon. "Please tell me he's still on the base."

"I don't know. Last I saw him; he was chasing the creep with one of Wheeljack's experiments." She shrugged as Captain Lennox cursed and ran to stop the boy from accidentally blowing them all up.

Lieutenant Brown pictured a man, about his height, getting up close and personal with Ironhide and his sizzling guns, mistakenly hearing said 'bot insult him, whistling at a woman who wouldn't hesitate to brain him with a wrench, to prove the 'bot wrong, and then getting chased by a furious teen boy with an unknown weapon in his hand…and shuddered.

Teenagers were bad enough _without_ weapons of (maybe) mass destruction.

"So, you're Lieutenant Brown?"

Nathan started at being addressed. "Yes, uh, I am. How do you know that?" He wondered at the tone that made it sound like the girl had heard about him.

"I've got Rhythm to keep me updated." Ah, well that explained that.

Slyly, she leaned in and whispered in conspiring tones, "We're on the weapons ground with no grumpy soldier to run me off." As a civilian, even one involved with the Autobots, Mikaela wouldn't be allowed anywhere without an escort, let alone to practice on the field. Nathan thought about it. "Please say we can pull out the big guns?"

And in an effort to show that he was not a strict, grumpy, military man, Nathan smiled sharply. "Let's frag this place up."

(Besides, if anyone asked, he could always say he was showing her how things worked. No one would blame the Lieutenant for attempting to inform the mechanic, right?)

*What Was That?*

**A/N:**I hope you enjoyed this second chapter! Thanks to everyone who's read this so far! Feedback is welcome! Thanks again.

*Feel free to not read my rants at the beginning. XD*


	3. Aft

**A/N:** Did you enjoy the previous chapter? I hope so! Anyway, thanks for taking a chance on this fic! Hope you enjoy it! Next chapter will be out on Saturday or Sunday. It'll either be 'Glitch' or 'Scrap'.

**Disclaimer:** Transformers owned by Hasbro and Bay. I don't claim anybot.

**Warnings:** Language, snootiness, ego-centric bots.

**Rating:** Teen

**Rant:** First thing you must know: Tracks (the Autobot) pisses me off. Not because of his personality but his name. His simple. Fraggin'.name. What respectable Cybertronian goes by _Tracks_ when you could have a kick-aft name like "Skywarp" or "Hoist" or "Bombshell"? _Really,_ Tracks? -25 points! *Breathes deeply*…Oh wait, just watched Auto-Bop. Apparently, Tracks is the originator of 'What the Deuce?' XD. +10 points, Tracks.

…Did anyone else notice that Ironhide had _red_ eyes coming out of that pool in Transformers (1)?

*What was that?*

**Aft**

"Are you _kidding__me?_" Lieutenant Nathan Brown said flatly.

Two scorched and damaged Autobots stood in front of him, both stances mimicking that of sulking teenagers (and as he had recently seen some sulking teens, Nathan felt the likeness was justified). From what he'd managed to gather, the 'bots had disagreed over who looked better.

One (that'd he'd never had the _pleasure_ of meeting) was a bright, friendly yet vibrant yellow, which was at odds with his personality (…Bot-ality?). He'd only heard rumors of this 'bot and had actively wished to never have to deal with him. The other 'bot was mainly black and blue, with white on his face, missiles, and wings (erm, there was no other word for it). This 'bot he had met before, and could personally vouch for his supreme level of narcissism.

Neither of them answered, choosing to complain about their finish and 'who was going to fix it, 'cause there was going to be frag to pay if no one did'.

"I assure you this is a very serious problem," Tracks, the Autobot with wings, stated in what was supposed to be a placating tone. Which, um, it actually wasn't given the amount of condescension his voice usually held. Some part of Nathan's brain that _wasn__'__t_ completely pissed with the two 'bots in front of him, idly wondered where Tracks had landed to pick up such an annoying attitude.

Then he wondered why the Autobots' name translated into _Tracks_. What the hell? He'd heard a few female NEST members make hair jokes about that name.

"You two not only managed to _blow__up_ Wheeljack's lab, but caused several similar explosions all over the base, and you're worried about your _paint__job_. Well? What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"This is no simple matter to be overlooked, Lieutenant." Tracks sounded vaguely horrified that Nathan wasn't in agreement with them. "As the best looking 'bot on base I have a need, nay, a _duty_ to remain presentable at all times and-"

Finally, the other part of the two man- er, 'bot- team snarled and smacked Tracks on the chest (chassis?) "Shut up Tracks. You don't know what you're talking about; that last explosion destroyed what little programming you have left." Nathan found himself on the receiving end of a very furious glower (it was a little disconcerting, considering the yellow lambo had no eyelids to glower with). "You have no authority over us, human, so shut the slag up and find me some of your primitive paint."

Nathan stifled the urge to seek out Ironhide and get the weapons specialist to shoot him. While Tracks was unknowingly annoying and extremely vain, the other 'bot was well known for not liking _anyone_ outside of a select few (read: two); and also being extremely vain.

But their combined efforts were bringing forth a new fact. Neither was as vain or annoying alone as they were together.

"Sunstreaker," he said lowly, "I am the only authority here right now. Lennox is too busy covering your asses to scold you himself." Nathan wasn't sure they'd have listened to Captain Lennox either, actually.

"From who?" Sunstreaker scoffed. "Your pathetic government? Your inferior leaders are nothing but afts."

Tracks began to grow concerned and attempted to intervene. "Perhaps we should-"

"That is not the _point_ and- wait, what? Did you say ass?" The image of human-sized asses talking and sitting around both disturbed and amused him.

Seeing a sudden reprieve in what had surely about to become a dangerous situation, Tracks nodded eagerly. "No. He said 'Aft'. As we are not flesh nor are we animals, the human word 'Ass' cannot apply to use. The more appropriate term is 'Aft' although," he said with slanted optics (Wait, that was possible?) aimed at Sunstreaker, "it is not used in _polite__company_."

"Oh. Look you two, you either go help clean the areas or deal with me." Nathan saw the immediate denial to do such a plebian task forming and raised a single pink, fleshy finger. "You have only one option left, then."

Tracks' head swung wildly between the two; Sunstreaker, who was unlikely to say anything out of sheer stubbornness, and Lieutenant Nathan Brown, who clearly had a Plan B. "Fine, I will help clean. It won't happen again, Lieutenant." The implied 'because I'm right' was heard by the human and ignored by Sunstreaker.

Nathan smiled at Tracks and ignored Sunstreakers rumbling. "Smart choice. You're free to go Tracks." Tracks proved to the world, then, that giant metallic creatures could, and quickly, scurry away. Nathan pulled out his walkie-talkie. "Send them in, please."

"Affirmative, Lieutenant. Reinforcements are on their way."

"More small humans are coming? I can take you all out." Sunstreaker pulled out his guns, as if Nathan had doubted him.

Nathan simply smirked and waited.

"Sunstreaker. We do not harm the humans. I do believe I have already had this conversation with you."

"Actually, Prime, that was Ironhide. Twice, at the very least." If Sunstreaker hadn't stilled when Optimus Prime spoke, he absolutely shut down when the other 'bot scolded him.

"I'm sure that I told you the next time you ended up in my bay because of stupidity, I was going to repaint you." Ratchet sounded down right _furious_, and it seemed to Nathan, struck the fear of g- er, Primus into the vain yellow 'bot. "Sunstreaker, get your aft to the med bay. _Now!_"

Optimus Prime said to Nathan, in a slightly apologetic voice, "I apologize for any further grievances Sunstreaker may have caused."

Despite the lingering annoyance in his veins, Nathan smiled. "Don't worry about it; I learned something from him."

He saw the blatant disbelief that sprung onto the Autobot leaders face with those words. "Excuse me, sir; I need to go help clean."

Lieutenant Nathan Brown would later remember this day as 'The Day Optimus Prime wore a "Knocked on my Aft" expression'.

*What Was That?*

**A/N:**Hi! Welcome to the end of the chapter. I hope this one entertained you (even if it was a small 'heh'.) Thanks for reading! Feedback is welcome.


	4. Glitch

**A/N****:** Sorry, I had a small case of writer's block mixed with procrastination. Thank you to everyone who reviewed this story (and to all the silent readers, I hope you are also enjoying this). Here we are with the second to last chapter: Glitches!

**Suggestion**: Listen to 'Massive Attack' for increased reading pleasure!

**Disclaimer:** Transformers owned by Hasbro and Bay (I guess) not me. I make no money from this. 'Massive Attack' belongs to Nicki Minaj and the company she sings with, not me.

**Rating: **Teen

**Rant:** Okay, I was wrong about Ironhide and red eyes; it was a youtube video that had that and it was wrong. Also, can I just say how glad I am they cut out Wheelie's rhyming? I mean, it's cute, but after 30 mins, it's annoying. Seriously. STOP IT...I got my first Autobot for Christmas! It's TOPSPIN…I have no clue who he is XD. Care to enlighten me? …Minajs lyrics remind me of Transformers. Coincidence? *Shifty eyes*…The Autobots turned into humans AGAIN! It's like every other episode, they're no longer mechanical. Seriously, guys, what is that about? Is Rodimus from G1?

*What Was That?*

**Glitch(es):**

"_It's Barbie, bitches."_

Nathan blinked. Somehow, that was not the music he thought he'd hear coming from the recreational room. No one else seemed to be bothered by it, no one being Jazz, Prowl, Wheeljack and the Twins. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker where sitting in their own corner, speaking excitedly in an odd mix of American English and (he listened for a bit, but yes it sounded like) some clicks and whirls that reminded him of a computer booting up. Jazz was updating his playlists and Wheeljack was tinkering with…something. Prowl watched the going-ons and nodded to Nathan.

"_We got tom-toms over here bigger than a monster block, block, block, block, block, block, block, block_," said the man on the Ipod. "_We got tom-toms over here bigger than a monster block, block, block, block, block, block, block, block_ ", he said again, just in case someone missed it the first time. The red and yellow spots in Nathan's peripheral vision turned and froze.

He grimaced. "And that is?" he asked the room.

The room didn't answer him (which his sanity was grateful for) but Wheeljack did. "It's an Ipod. Wonderful device, if not completely thought out and very primitive, although I think I could rework it-"

A laughing voice interrupted him. Nathan turned to see a smirking Jazz (Nathan, at this point, had given up trying to figure out how they were performing these actions without the necessary equipment). "Ah wouldn't mess with that 'jack. Jus' leave it ahlone." Wheeljack (somehow) managed a pout.

"I wanted to know who the artist was, that's all," Nathan said. Jazz's optics flickered and he said, "It's Nicki Minaj an' 'er song, 'Massive Attack'."

"…_Wicked, got ten bad bitches. We sh-sh-shut it_ down _like the club got _glitches, _dig_ it?"

Every 'bot in the room turned sharply to look at the unassuming Ipod, which was still happily playing. Nathan suppressed a groan with herculean effort. Not another one of those slaggin'- er, bloody terms!

Nathan caught movement out of the corner of his eye and looked to see Sideswipe and Sunstreaker attempt a giant, mechanical version of 'sneak away'. Prowl zeroed-in on them and they stopped.

Jazz and Wheeljack gaped. Prowl growled and kept accusing optics on the Twins. "What did that female say?"

"What was that?" Nathan asked Wheeljack quietly. The scientist took him aside and said, "It's an awful term, the worst of the worst, really. It describes the worst any 'bot can be, and would be the 'ultimate insult' on Cybertron. Anyone who gets called a Glitch deserves the title." Nathan nodded and kept an eye on the action.

"…_And while you do that G.T.'s pulling up, yeah_…."

"We plead the fifth," Sideswipe said. Sunstreaker pulled off a mischievous glower behind his brother.

"You aren't American citizens," Nathan pointed out. "You can't plead anything."

"They can plead guilty," Prowl snarled. Jazz's optics flickered in the background.

"You can't pin this on either of us," Sunstreaker said smugly, with traces of panic. "You can't prove anything. For all you know, it was a complete coincidence."

"Yeah. Humans do like to rhyme their words." Sideswipe smirked. "Completely unrelated to us in any way."

Jazz spoke up. "They have a point, Prowlie." Prowl shot him a dark look. "Sunstreaker wasn' here when this came out."

"_Kn-kn-know I got the ammo, that's why I bullet-proofed the Lambo. In the middle-east on a camel, runnin' through the jungle, Rambo, Liberace tango. Swingin' on a vine, mango (mango?)."_

"Sunstreaker, however, _is_ unaccounted for durin' that time." He continued. Prowl looked like he wanted nothing better than to rip out all of their wiring.

"…_so call me Simba, little mama, 'cause Mufasa couldn't stop a bitch. I fly in on that chopper just to buy Balenciaga. It's just me, Mr. Miyagi, and the Phantom of the Opera Goin' _blocka_ mother_fucka_, got that big rocket _launcher…"

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker exchanged equally disturbing smiles. Nathan felt a shiver of dread and foretelling go up his spine; he just knew this was going to result in an added amount of paperwork. "What did you do?"

The two pranksters started to speak, but paused as the song played on. "_Massive attack, massive attack Got them bomb-bombs make the whole club go back. Hey, bet the DJ gon' bring this one back, hey, like the swagger mom bring on this track, hey. Massive attack, massive attack. Whats been done-done need no more say_…"

Sideswipe shrugged (his metal shoulder area, Nathan supplied to his wondering mind). "What he said." Sunstreaker added, "I might've gotten a few Decepticons before I found Sideswipe. Probably called them a group of 'aft-headed glitches'. Maybe there was a witness."

Nathan paled and collapsed on one of the overly large couches. "You didn't." He sincerely hoped Sunstreaker didn't encourage the song currently playing in the background. That would mean _major amounts of paperwork_, not to mention they'd have to interrogate the singer. "To make sure, you are _not_ saying that you fought Decepticons with a famous civilian who then wrote a song about it, right?"

"_(Detonating a bomb), detonating them hits, Fixin' to buy up the bar, all my bitches is rich. (You better duck when it comes), better duck 'cause it's comin'. (Best believe me we're on), got them runnin', r-runnin'. Now tell them rap bitches that Nicki said this _'We got tom-toms over here bigger than a monster'…"

Prowl was already well into a super-lecture, which was sure to continue for a good number of hours. Sideswipe looked like he didn't know whether to support his twin or get out of the way before he became collateral damage.

While no one said it, Nathan was sure they were all thinking the same thing. Sunstreaker was in for it this time.

"…_Massive attack, massive attack. Got them bomb-bombs, make the whole club go back. Hey_…"

If Nathan had to spend _any_ extra hours signing endless amounts of paperwork, Sunstreaker, the glitch, was going to pay.

"…_massive attack, massive attack. Whats been done-done need no more say that's that, Hey, never find me in the club laid back. I wanna jump to this jam until we see the sun_."

*What Was That?*

**A/N:** And so ends another chapter! Thanks to all the reviewers from previous chapters. I hope you enjoyed this! One more left, and then it will be completed! (Which is a very big deal for me, as seen by my track record.) Watch this space…


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